What Does Letting Go Look Like?

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what letting go looks like. I have realized that even though I am busy planning for Kenzie to move out, I am still holding on.

What does that look like? well, I find myself planning her move as though I was going to be her long-distance at home parent. As though she was still living at home, but just a ways away. I think about what her day should look like, what she might do, how she should decorate her home and on and on.

It is the little things. It hit me the other day that she is going to have to figure out her bedtime. Seems silly but it was a shocking concept for me. I won't be there to tell her to go to bed and because she will be living on her own, I don't think I have the right to tell her when she should be going to bed... do I?

The problem is, there is no road map for this type of thing. I am trying to approach it the same way I have approached the rest of her life - treat her as if she is normally developing until she shows she needs assistance. I guess in the case of the bedtime, it means letting her figure it out until I hear reports she is falling asleep at work or in class!

I also think this is where I am going to really rely on Ashley. I am going to rely on her to tell me to back off and get my own house! I am going to rely on her to let Kenzie handle things until she thinks she needs to step in. This means Kenzie will make mistakes. She might be tired some days, but that is the only way she will figure things out.

I really wish there was someone I could talk to that has gone through something like this before!