19 Days

Well, it has been 19 days since the little birdie flew the coop. Or the nest. I have been very pleased with how well things have gone so far. The girls are settling in nicely, (almost) everything has been unpacked and a routine seems to be established.


I think having the girls start living together a couple of months before school starts again was a very good thing. It will give them time to get a routine going, understand each other and develop some comfort.


The only glitch we have encountered so far is one that I am not quite sure how to report on. I want to respect Kenzie's privacy enough that everything is not splashed all over the internet, but I also don't want any parents reading this to think that everything is perfect.


So, for now, I will just say that we have had to do some educating and boundary setting for Kenzie in regards to visitors, boys and roommates. Hmmmmm.... wait a minute..... I guess that isn't so unusual for someone freshly out on their own, is it? 

Who Am I

I asked Kenzie's roommate, Ashley, to put down some of her thoughts on her new living arrangement and how she feels about becoming a supportive roommate. Here they are: 

Name: Ashley


About Me: I am a firefighter, pointe ballet dancer and computer geek


About My Family: I am the oldest of three kids. My brother has many medical conditions including Aspergers and OCD.


Why I Would Do This: 
Reason #1 - I love Kenzie
Reason #2 - I love being involved in improving someone else's life.
Reason #3 - I love the responsibility and knowing that I am challenging myself.

This "job" gives me cheap rent, an amazing roommate and a great support system. I love knowing that people care for both Kenzie and I.


ps: just throwing it out there that this is the best "job" ever! I love Kenzie.

It is Finished.

Well, the deed has been done. She has moved. Boxes are unpacked – for the most part – and bed made. We got groceries for the cupboards and the coffee pot is set up on the counter. She is in her element. And Mum? She has no idea how to identify the feels that are whirling around inside her.

I was over at the house helping put things away. At one point I noticed that Kenzie was getting a bit irritated with me. Apparently, I was being a bit too much of a “Mum” for her comfort. That is when I decided it was time to leave and let them set up the rest of the house themselves. Most of the work had been done, we were just down to the spare parts and trying to figure out where the odds and ends belonged.

I left them with directions on when Kenzie needed to eat next and what time she should get up and have breakfast in the morning. The girls dropped me at home and went off on their merry way.

Since then, I have been feeling this whirling sense of being unsettled. I feel guilty. I feel a bit lost. I don’t think I feel anxious or worried. Just out of sorts.

Guilty

I think I feel guilty because someone else is taking care of Kenzie. It has been my job for a long time and now to have someone who isn’t her father or her brothers being responsible for her seems… imposing somehow. I feel like I have dumped her on someone. I know that isn’t logical, but there it is.

Lost

Eighteen years of taking care of someone takes a lot of energy. Planning their meals, counting carbs, figuring out insulin, planning outings – these things all take time and effort. Now I am at home without her. I know I still have a lot of work to do to get things going, such as explaining her schedule to Ashley, figuring out logistics and everything but right now, in this moment, she isn’t my responsibility. Now what?

Anxious or Worried

It might seem odd to some people, but I rarely feel anxious or worried about Kenzie. At least, not in the general, what happens if, kind of way. I save my worrying for the more tangible things. Somehow, deep down, I have peace knowing she is going to be just fine. I trust Ashley’s judgment and I know Kenzie has a high level of independence.

Something else might surprise you. Even with her room looking clean and bare, I haven’t cried once. At least, not yet.

Oh, and I am trying really hard to refrain for texting them to see what they are doing.